By Emma Campanella
A constant dissonance of head and heart. You know that one person is bad for you, but your mind bumps into him or her at every moment. How do you know when it is really time to draw the line?
Communication is the most important element in any relationship. It is how people stay in sync and become closer with each other on a deeper level of understanding. If you start to realize your conversations have become sparse and you don’t feel an excitement when talking anymore, that may be a sign. Or if your friend or significant other (S/O) starts to avoid your calls and doesn’t answer after reading your messages. Unless you two can get together and talk about what might be affecting your communication, it might be time to cut the (telephone) cord.
IT TAKES MORE MUSCLES TO FROWN
Being with someone, either a friend or an S/O, should make you feel comfortable and happy. Both people should be able to openly say what’s on their mind and be active listeners when needed. Your values and beliefs don’t have to be the same, but should be respected and somewhat understood by both parties. However, this can be hard when one person takes up so much of the conversations and is more self-centered. It may lead you to feel that your problems aren’t as significant as theirs. If you feel your energy draining when you spend time with someone or you start gritting your teeth when heading to their place, kick it to the curb. You deserve to be with someone who makes you happy!
I know that everyone has a lot to do in their lives, whether it be a job or just studying for exams. But if your constant efforts to get together aren’t ever taken up and their excuse is that they are “always busy,” you don’t really need them in your life. If your friend or S/O really wanted to see you, they would make time to make you one of their priorities too. I mean, they really can’t skip that Squirrel Watching Club meeting to get dinner with you? Bish, BYE.
YOUR MOTHER IS ALWAYS RIGHT
For the most part, your family and friends really just want the best for you. Sometimes, it is hard to listen to what they have to say and you just want to hum to yourself and cover your ears. The truth hurts, but they’re probably right. If they think your friend or S/O is making you unhappy and is not the best person in the world, they’ll make that known to you. They have clear minds and aren’t distracted by romanticized thoughts like you might be, so they will be able to evaluate him or her more accurately. The last thing they want is to mess up something that is good for you, so consider the input. You might have to burn that bridge.
MY PASSWORD IS 123FU
At times, I can be a very private person. I love having my own space and HATE when my mom moves my stuff… so much. In the beginning stages of any relationship, I think it’s completely normal to not want to share personal details about yourself. It takes time to build up the trust that is vital in relationships. But if you’ve known someone for a while and they still won’t open up to you about much or let you look at their phone, something’s going on. In a way they’re hiding secrets, and the lack of trust on their end can be a deal breaker. Maybe there are just a bunch of nudes on their camera roll… but who knows?
Everything and everyone will endure many changes in their lives, for better or worse. Every experience is a new part of who you are and how you tell your story. A friend or an S/O will be a new change, but it shouldn’t necessarily change you. If you start to notice that your relationship with someone is shaping you into a person you aren’t fully comfortable with or is changing your morals, look elsewhere. There are better humans out there who will love you for the entirety of you. Don’t be afraid to lose people; be afraid of losing yourself.
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