Dating: Being Stuck In-Between

By Vanessa Herrera


Dating: a concept that seems to be constantly changing. Back in the day, it was so simple and straightforward. Now you have numerous terms, rules and phases to get lost in translation. To make matters worse, we now have technology that enters the equation. Overall, dating can be a mess for some, especially in the beginning. More and more people are finding themselves stuck in a certain place, the “in-between” phase.

So what exactly is the “in-between” phase? Well, according to today’s terms, it’s the phase between the first few dates and DTR (defining the relationship). You find yourself in a limbo state where you watch and analyze every action you or your potential significant other takes. In this phase, you’ll notice some things that used to be a walk in a park are now a walk in a minefield.


Family & Friends: What are We?


young women drinking coffee and talking at cafe


Explaining to people that you’re just dating is like trying to teach a subject you just learned about the night before. If your parents are old-fashioned, you might as well say you’re not seeing anyone unless you don’t mind continuously answering and then explaining Mom’s numerous questions.

As for your friends, it’s a mixture of different views. Some say you’re not single, and others are telling you to not feel guilty – which leads us to the second point:


Pretty Little Guilt




If you haven’t communicated about whether to date casually or exclusively, you might find yourself navigating a new sea. It’s a gray area where only you can decide where you stand. However, this realization comes with confusion in the beginning. Sometimes you don’t know if you should feel guilty for wanting to flirt with someone new, even though you haven’t DTR.


Social Media: What do You Mean?




This might be one of the most stressful elements during this phase (or any other phase). Countless questions arise, leading you to send screenshots to friends and interpret each message. Honestly, many times there isn’t a deeper meaning but just a straightforward answer, yet one keeps trying to read between the lines and see if there’s a future.

Then there’s the question of how to reply. How long should you wait to text them back? What emojis should you use? Should you double text? How should you reply to their single word message? If texting wasn’t enough, now there are other social media like Facebook that also come into action.


Overall, you shouldn’t stress out about it. We put too much emphasis on a single emoji or message. Together we should try to decrease the numerous labels and communicate exactly what we want.



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