A Guide for Finding the Perfect New Year’s Kiss

By Vanessa Herrera

Hello, beautiful single people! Welcome to the guide of finding true love’s first kiss. Just kidding, it’s only for one night – my magic can only go so far. I’m not your fairy godmother or a genie, but I can guarantee you will find someone or something to kiss on New Year’s Eve by following a few simple steps.

Step 1: Be Confident

I can’t have you running around town without confidence! It is the key to success in everything, including this. You’re on a runway on America’s Next Top Model and there’s no going back. So smize and be ready to do the catwalk, because this is no walk in the park.

Step 2: Make an Application

Similar to a job application, this is a kissing application. You will have people fill them out and answer questions that are of your concern. Such as, how many times do they brush their teeth? Or what brand and flavor of lip balm do they wear?

Once they have submitted their application, hold interviews. View it as “Say Yes to the Kiss.” If you’re feeling adventurous though, pick one right off the bat. It’s only for one kiss, not a marriage proposal. Unless you’re looking for something like in TLC’s Love at First Kiss, good luck with that.

So hit up Word and type away.

Step 3: Swipe to the Right, to the Right

So maybe step two didn’t work out as planned. Why not try Tinder? It’s like the Bachelorette: who will get the final kiss? Look at their face, read their bio and swipe right. If you’re lucky, you’ll match and off you go on the quest for that kiss.

Step 4: Hit the Streets

Okay, so maybe step three isn’t for you. Why not try the old-fashioned way? Go out into the world and find the one. You can stand on the street with a poster board, or you can do the kissing dance and maybe someone will fall from the sky. Remember, all you need is confidence.

Step 5: Wait Until the Last Minute

Maybe you’re a spontaneous person. As the New Year’s Ball goes down, lock eyes with someone, walk up to them and ask. Now that’s confidence!

Step 6: I am Independent, Hear me ROAR!

So you tried all the steps and nothing seemed to work. Don’t sweat it! Remember, you’re an amazing, legendary person who is independent. I did promise a kiss, so go out and kiss someone or something on the cheek, whether it be your family, a pet or a glass of wine.

Final Step: Kiss Away

FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO, ONE! JACKPOT! Congratulations, you will be kissing someone (or something) on New Year’s Day! And remember, there’s always next year for a different kiss.