By Mea Donnelly
The great thing about having a significant other on campus is that you get to be around the person whenever you want. You can study together, go out together, or randomly get food together. You two are the object of envy for long distance couples – until Thanksgiving break, that is.
For couples that are constantly together, a week apart is horrific and dire. Any time separated from one another could be tragic to the state of your romance. Here are my three foolproof ways to see your significant other at home.
- Meet up. This one isn’t that hard. If you are both from the suburbs, just get together and hang out. Make sure to do so while in the company of your parents or little sibling, and include extra PDA so Mom and Dad know you weren’t lying when you said you had a person.
- Communicate. A week apart is an absolute no-no for any relationship; you must be in constant communication. Your significant other takes more than two hours to respond? Send them 57 texts in a row (at least). That will definitely get you guys talking.
- Be present. It is essential that you are constantly there for your boyfriend or girlfriend. Drive the two hours and park in their driveway. Wait for them to come home. Make sure you follow them everywhere, or are at least in close proximity to where they are. You can even stand outside their window and let them know you are still there. Maybe even do it while dressed like a clown, since that is all the rage in 2016.
On a serious note, you are pretty darn lucky that you don’t have to do long distance for the majority of the year. So really, just don’t be a stranger during Thanksgiving break. Maybe meet up once for dinner, and there’s no need to cry about being away from your significant other for a short period of time. It is not that hard to make it work, so get on Skype and you’ll be just fine.
This is a satire piece.