BREAKING NEWS: Unknown Vigilante on the Rise

By Ada Li




On a late chilly night, sophomore Jane Doe (the witness wished to remain anonymous) was walking through the Quad in the direction of the Union after studying for an exam at Lincoln Hall. It was well past 1 a.m. and she was burnt out from studying. While passing by the English Building, she noticed a figure jumping off from the second floor window balcony and landing in a low crouch on the first floor.

“At first I was scared. I thought to myself: what if it was the female ghost of the English Building? You know, the one who drowned herself in the basement. Then again it could have been my tired eyes playing a trick on me.

She quickly dismissed her initial ghost hypothesis when she noticed the figure’s outfit.

He was definitely wearing spandex. His outfit was mostly black with hints of orange and blue. Not to mention that he was wearing a mask, A MASK! One side is blue and the other side is orange. Talk about school spirit right? Anyways, I shouted, ‘hey, what are you doing?’ to which he responded with for justice’ as he quickly sprinted off in the direction of the bookstore. At least he wasn’t wearing cape.

This wasn’t the only encounter with this vigilante. Others has seen him hopping from building to building. One night, a witness saw him standing at the top of Foellinger overlooking the Quad after midnight, with a giant I on his chest glistening in the moonlight. Another witness met him on White and Fourth well after the bars closed.

With the recent releases of both superhero and anti-superhero movies and tv shows, it is no shocker that someone on campus decided to create their own superhero. Maybe he is inspired by Batman, watching over his “Gotham” while using the cloak of night to stay hidden.

There is little known about this vigilante besides that he wears a mask and spandex with a giant “I” on his chest. What does he call himself? What is his purpose? Why does he feel the need that the students at U of I need protecting? These are some of the many questions that will be left unanswered. Without the access to the vigilante himself or knowledge of his identity, we can only guess what his motives are.

I have yet to encounter this vigilante but it is only a matter of time before I do. But when I do, I will tell him, “Happy April’s Fools!”



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