“Ten Commandments of Fall at UIUC”

by Tori Stukins

When people think of fall, there are obviously a few seasonal staples everyone thinks of: leaves changing colors, pumpkin spice you-name-it and even jacket weather. Meanwhile, here at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, things are a little varied from the normal fall symptoms. There are ten sure-fire ways that you know fall is coming (or by now, has come) to UIUC.

1. Thou shalt… need a jacket and rain boots earlier in the day but surely die of heat stroke by the noon hour.

The wonderful (read: mediocre) thing about living in Illinois is the weather can never seem to make up its mind. While the forecast may call for being bundled up for one half of the day, you may very well be clawing at your jacket later in the afternoon. Layer up is good for two reasons, children. You will be warm if the cold comes to bite you, or you can shed a couple as soon as the sun decides to wake up from his nap.

Curtis Orchard

Photo Courtesy Of: The Happiness In Health

2. Thou shalt… spend obscene amounts of money at the Curtis Orchard General Store.

Sure, pumpkin spice lattes are great and all, but Curtis is the place to being during the autumn season. Pretty much any club or organization makes a point to stop by everyone’s favorite apple orchard and pumpkin patch. I would be a liar if I said I would never drive all the way out there for a case of those apple donuts. Seriously though, their salted caramel chocolate is also severely underrated.

Spirit of Halloween

Photo Courtesy Of: Dealicious Mom

3. Thou shalt… notice the return of the infamous Spirit of Halloween.

This probably isn’t special to the Midwest, but the moment Spirit of Halloween moves back into a random nook of town is when fall truly begins for me. These Halloween specialty stores will go wherever leasers will take them. You have to admit the speed with which they move in is scary and efficient.

4. Thou shalt not… catch the bus on time, as they magically disappear.

I fell victim to this about two weeks ago and actually missed a quiz because two buses went missing at the same time. Near the beginning of the school year, some summer construction is still wrapping up and bus drivers are readjusting to the fall schedules. Naturally, some students get lost in the shuffle. Although honestly, where did those two buses go?!

5. Thou shalt… be able to separate the Illinois students from the out-of-state students.

I’m going to go back to clothing with this one. While I myself am a born-and-raised resident of Illinois, I can always tell in-state students apart from the out-of-staters. For instance, California residents are used to the typically temperate, or overall warmer, climate of the west coast. As soon as they feel one touch of cold wind, they bring out the jackets. Also, I have seen a pair of Uggs or two already, and it’s not even October yet.

Ferris Bueller

GIF Courtesy Of: The Daily Edge

6. Thou shalt… be deafened by the sound of sniffling in lecture.

Yes, your roommate has it. Your best friend has it. Now, you have it. My entire house fell prey to the seasonal cold, and it’s amazing how quickly such things spread on a college campus. It was like a little chorus of sniffs in my lecture today. Let’s all take a break from reading this to go blow our noses.

Kanye Flannel

Picture Courtesy Of: Karmaloop

7. Thou shalt not… walk the streets without spying at least three flannel shirts.

Sure, you can go to barn dance in the spring or summer months, but this is the time for flannel more than ever. I could make a game out of counting the number of flannel shirts I see walking to and from class.

8. Thou shalt… be wary while passing underneath trees.

I realized this one not long ago while walking back to my house with my roommate. Not only should be mindful of acorns falling from trees, but the squirrels are not so innocent as they appear. One or two squirrels knocked small branches or other objects from the trees just while I was walking back from class. Do not stare the pretty leaves for long! Nature is out to get us, guys, and it is deadly.

Dunkin Donuts

Picture Courtesy Of: Nashua Telegraph

9. Thou shalt… reap the lasting benefits of dollar iced coffee at Dunkin’ Donuts.

With the winter months rapidly approaching, happy hour at Dunkin’ Donuts cannot last forever. I’m always taken by melancholy surprise when I see they’ve removed the sign from their window on Green. Yes, I know it’s less than fifty degrees. Give me my dollar caramel iced coffee.

10. Thou shalt… face the age-old problem of football crowd traffic.

This is also a new one I have noticed while walking to work in the middle of a Saturday afternoon. Wow, I realize a lot of things while walking, don’t I? My trek to the UGL Espresso Royale is often thwarted by throngs of passionate football fans of every age. Not only do these fans clog up foot traffic, but also driving anywhere is a nightmare. I’m all for school spirit, but I wish the stadium was further off campus.

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