The Spread

Six things you should never say to a second semester senior

I’ve been on campus for nearly 48 hours, and already, I’ve been bombarded with the same questions that I have no answers to. For some, I choose not to answer because I just don’t want to be rude, OK? 

1. So, what are your plans after college? 

     There are many variations of this question, but that’s basically the gist of it. I could say something spunky like planning to travel the world or liberate my soul from the constraints of the judgement of the academic world. I could also throw in the word “work force” and lie about how many offers I’ve gotten. But to be honest, I don’t know. I just don’t F*** know, and frankly, I’m OK with that (for now). So, don’t ask. 

2. Oh! You’re a senior. You look young. 

     Thanks for the compliment. Now, hand over the drink. 

3. What about grad school? 

     What about it? 

4. What are you going to miss most about college? 

     Umm…If I really had to choose, everything. 

5. (Pause) Isn’t that a “competitive” field? 

     I hear this a lot, especially as a journalism major. It’s interchangeable with “dying.” You might as well just ask me what I’m going to do after college, but maybe, you were just trying to be nice and sound interested. 

6. Do you even have plans?

     . . . 

 

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