The Spread

Balls To The Wall: Wilmington College Student Trades A Testicle for Brotherhood

Editor’s Note: The Spread does not condone hazing. The following reveals slightly gruesome details about a hazing incident, recently reported by several news outlets. The stylistic choice of writing, which includes vulgar words, express how detrimental, degrading and inhumane this situation is. The short comic relief statement at the end is meant to be read with sarcasm and humor.

By John Wong and Christina Masterson 

Most men that join fraternities know of the period of time known as “pledging.” They go into the process knowing that it’s going to have some physical toll and some impact on performance in the classroom, but these men know of the shining light at the end of the tunnel that is known as being an “active” member of a fraternity. Due to recent news stories circulating around this matter, I’m willing to bet that not many of the pledges on this campus would be willing to lose a testicle for it.

Yes, my friends: fellow pledge Tyler Lawrence over at Wilmington College in conveniently Wilmington, Ohio was pledging the Gamma Phi Gamma fraternity when he was severely injured during a hazing incident that eventually sent him to the hospital.

Long story short, the 19-year-old student went into the hospital with both balls intact and came out with only one. Now, while it’s not a huge deal considering that science tells us it is only necessary to have one of each organ to be a fully functioning human (testicles included), Wilmington College still launched an investigation into the matter. Turns out, the pledges Gamma Phi Gamma (nicknamed the “Gobbler House” for no known reason) were required to be stripped naked and blindfolded, where they were then beaten with towels and shirts by the active, according to The Washington Post.  All of this was among other things like swimming around a dirty ass wet floor.

Well, it just wasn’t Lawrence’s day because he was the only pledge unlucky enough to have his ballsack fucked by a towel with a force strong enough to knock him immediately to the ground in writhing pain. The funny thing is, the ceremony actually continued as the young recruit was casually suffering from an injury on the ground that will eventually render him with only one of his family jewels.

Wilmington News Journal reported about 20 students actually watched the “hazing” or participated in it somehow. The best part of this is the fact that Lawrence, even though he had just gotten surgery to remove one of his balls, does not place any blame on any members of the fraternity, even defending them on the local news by saying the whole thing was an “accident.”

But you kind of have to give the guy some credit; he’s got a shit ton of loyalty to the fraternity, and the fact that even after losing a testicle doesn’t faze him…the guys over at Gamma Phi Gamma  should initiate him on the goddamn spot because that is dedication, folks.

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