Four Ghastly Ghouls in the Music (Murda) Bizness

By John Wong

It used to be that average people typically made music. You had an instrument; a piano, a guitar, a mandolin, etc. Nowadays, many musicians have taken the gimmicks to a whole new level. We’re looking at you, Ozzy, Gaga and Marilyn. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Audiences worldwide eat up these musicians because of their scary antics, and for the most part, they are talented people who either have storied success in the industry, or display true potential for the future.


Let’s take Ozzy Osbourne for example. He makes heavy metal music with his band, Black Sabbath, and generally speaking, one doesn’t associate the genre with cupcakes, rainbows or anything a Katy Perry fan would salivate over. The genre itself is loud and distorted, with lyrics focusing on depressing and dark topics, in stark contrast to the happy-go-lucky themes in the mainstream pop market. And that’s exactly why in Des Moines, Iowa in 1982, Ozzy bit the head off of a bat onstage in front of thousands of adoring fans. Granted, it was the ‘80s so the majority of the people there were probably cracked out to begin with. But if Bieber had done the same thing at his concert in 2013, he most likely would have shattered the hearts of millions of teeny bopper girls the world over who would label him as a “freak” and at that point, he can also kiss all those endorsement deals with Proactiv goodbye. And that’s the difference between these musicians who rely on shock and scare factors to buoy their careers.


While Bieber has a baby-faced teen idol image to maintain, Ozzy and Gaga are decapitating bats and simulating internal bleeding onstage. Musicians like Marilyn Manson are in a whole different league of their own. This is the guy who got his stage name (real name Brian Hugh Warner) from the American serial killer Charles Manson. When he’s not wearing illegal amounts of makeup at his manic shows, he’s dressing up as androgynous alien named Omega and worshipping Satan – he is a reverend of the Church of Satan after all.


Then you have musicians like the Swedish doom metal (think of it is as heavy metal on steroids) band, Ghost B.C. Nobody actually knows the identities of the band members because they are never seen without their Satanic makeup, masks and priestly robes. The band consists of lead singer Papa Emeritus and his band, the “Nameless Ghouls”, who all don black facemasks to preserve their anonymity. The six members of the band all mimic the Roman Catholic Church, but reverse the image to worship Satan instead of the Holy Trinity.


You didn’t think this was an article that wouldn’t include the two words “Miley” and “Cyrus” in it, did you? It’s 2013, and needless to say, this has been the year of Miley Cyrus. It’s been one hell of a transformation from innocent tween pop star Miley Cyrus to tongue wagging, coke-snorting (allegedly), twerk queen Miley Cyrus 2.0. We’re not saying that the crazy behavior Miley has been sporting lately puts her in the same “scary” category as the aforementioned musicians, but her wild child antics have not exactly been as sexy as she might’ve thought – and they certainly have not been positively accepted by the general public. Remember when we said that Marilyn Manson was in a league of his own before? Well somebody please get Miley her own category of music altogether. This bitch told us she won’t stop (we should’ve listened) and to be quite honest, when you’re a 20 year old girl with millions in the bank and a somewhat unhealthy thirst for partying and sex, what else are you gonna do? To be honest, the girl is crazy talented and she knows that her fans are growing up just like she is, so it only makes sense for her to make that transformation into an edgier artist anyway. Face it people, Hannah Montana is dead!

And for all the Selena Gomez and Katy Perry fans out there, who cannot relate to or understand any of the material in this article, it is best that you just stick to that basic bubblegum crap you are so dearly obsessed with because it has clearly destroyed your mental capacity to understand that musicians have different ways of expressing themselves beyond their music. Yes, it can be classified as “scary” by some, but who is to say that Taylor Swift is not scary to other people for being scary stupid and unbearable?

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