The Spread

By F. Amanda Tugade

If you haven’t noticed, YouTube is a breeding ground for people who want immediate fame. There are thousands of covers out there that range from an actually talented singer, looking to score a record deal (aka like JBiebs) to a schmuck just f*** around behind his webcam, hoping to make it on to Tosh.0’s Web Redemption.

However, I’d like to point out this trend, this influx of pre-teen, Disney/Nickelodeon-star wannabes. Ever since Rebecca Black came out with “Friday” in 2011, the epidemic of these fame-seeking children has reached new heights all thanks to a record label called Ark Music Factory (AMF).

AMF, according to Wikipedia — I know not that credible of a source, but the website is sketchy in and of itself (arkmusicfactory.com) — is an L.A. based record label that started in 2010, and the Factory manufactures “talented” kids for a convenient price range of $2000 to $4000. This package deal includes music videos, promotions and the icing on the cake — the actual song, itself.

However, this information is not found on their actual website. Their website, which resembles a pre-teen chatroom circa 2000, showcases countless YouTube videos and profiles of young girls and boys singing covers. Currently, the Factory has four girls “signed” to their label — Abby Victory, Madison Bray, Ariana Dvornik and girl duo Melina and Kenzie Rae, who collectively make up Hush.

Who knew that you could put a price tag on instant fame? That’s right people, we can now buy fame and “talent,” and no, they don’t sell them at Costco.

Long gone are the days where kids are sitting in their rooms, writing their own lyrics in a spiral notebook instead of doing their algebra homework. Long gone are the days where kids are encouraged to learn how to play an instrument and try to come up with their own crappy melody married with rhyming words about crushes, bullies, cupcakes and rainbows. And more importantly, long gone are the days where kids actually know if they have talent or not.

Ark Music Factory is right to name itself a factory because that’s exactly what it is. It produces “stars” that are cut from the same cloth — talentless, over-the-top, pop star wannabes, who want to follow in the likes of the Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez and yeah, the JBiebs, himself.

Not only is this record label an significant mark on the irrevocable capitalism values of these here United States, but it just goes to show that if you’ve got the money, fifteen seconds of fame is within your reach. A little extra will get you fifteen minutes.